Subtle Art of Responding

Hi there,

Over the years I've had profound interest in human psyche & psychology which also led me to read journals and books related to the subject; albeit, I couldn't effectively practice all my learning for a longer period of time. Certain events in time where I was way wrong in interpreting actions discouraged me to such an extent I gave up on my learning.

Now when I look back, I realized my learning wasn't all crap; I just failed to include all the necessary parameters to interpret a message successfully. My interpretations back then included a few parameters which threw off my interpretation off course.

Well, past is past; since I started working in corporate, some of my learnings gradually came back to me so I'll focus today on only one aspect of human psyche & psychology.

Responding to people is an art

There is always a way of saying things. Same message can be conveyed in a harsh, sober and manipulative manner. 

In corporate some of the higher ups have mastered the art of manipulative communication and whilst I strongly condemn manipulating someone and recommend everyone to be very conscious and aware of conversations to avoid getting manipulated.

Generally whenever we respond to someone, our replies are highly influenced by our mental state at the given moment. 

Emotions are your greatest strength and weakness; given who you are with

When you are talking to someone who cares about you, your emotions are your strength but when you're talking to someone who isn't connected deeply with you, the same emotion becomes your weakness which can and will be used against you.

In my earlier post 'Inside Out', I've shared how we can keep a check on our emotions; recommend reading that post.

Coming back to few gentle practices which can save your day...

Always be genuine and unfiltered with people you care about

You should follow these checkpoints whilst in any conversation with an outsider:

Listen carefully 
- do not listen to respond, listen to understand

Take a pause
- take a brief moment of pause before responding; no one is forcing you to reply within a second. 
- when you take a pause it sub-consciously induces a self-introspection state in speaker and if they are up to no good, they might show signs of  scrutiny, embarrassment or guilt 
- to understand this even deeper, you may need to practice reading micro-expressions

Introspect outcomes
- think whether your opinion matters or not
- if the outcome is not going to change no matter what your opinion is; simply use termination phrases (like 'lets see how it turns out', 'thanks for your concern' et cetera)

Impersonate
- if your opinion does matter, then step into shoes of someone you admire the most (like 'Elon Musk', 'Keanu Reeves', 'Tom Cruise' et cetera) and try to respond in a similar fashion as they would respond. This will be like abstraction. 
- impersonating someone you're talking to is a great tactic too; it makes the other person feel you belong to the same niche

This way you will convey your message whilst concealing your emotional state because when you imitate someone's dialect and way of speaking, your mind completely steps over your current emotional state.

I sometimes unknowingly copy dialect of people I'm speaking to; that is not in my control

Bright side is it somehow helps me to connect with people who are outside my linguistic niche and no one can tell place of my origin by the way I speak.

Without a question I have not mastered the art of responding myself; but I will, sooner or later.

#pranavastic pro tip:
Speak less, people crave for something that is rare. If you speak too often then chances are people get used to it and probably won't take you seriously. When you speak less, it gives you a massive audience when you speak because no one would want to miss anything you say.

Would you like to add some tips on staying out of trouble during conversations ?
Let us know in comments below...


Peace,
Pranav